Extraordinary People

It is truly amazing the people that have become part of my life. I sit there and think about it and realize how lucky I am. I have a mom that loves like no one has loved before, a dad that would do anything to make sure I am happy and provided for, a mother-in-law who cares about me like she cares about her own, a father-in-law who farts on me, gives me wet willies, throws dirty socks at me, and puts me to work ;] a sister-in-law [Bailey] who is selfless, creative, and who loves me like I was her own sister, another sister-in-law [Kenzie] who yells every day haha and who I can have a serious conversation with and who will eat the entire kitchen with me in the middle of the night! And a Nana and Papa who are the SWEETEST people I have ever met in my entire life. And many many more amazing friends and family! But lastly, I have a husband who makes me the person I am, who loves me even when Im grouchy and mean, make-up or not, morning hair or breath! Who makes me feel beautiful no matter what. Who shows me what it is to be a great friend to others and who has been a best friend to me. Who will give me the Great Wall of China when he rolls over and is done snuggling =] Who accepts anyone and everyone whether they are liked or not. Who makes me laugh a thousand times a day! And who will actually call me "Love" in a big argument and smile about it! Who will tell me we are going somewhere and its a suprise, and then we get there, and 9 chances out of 10 it will be the tactical store or some place he wants to go lol. Anyone that will come across these amazing people are lucky, lucky to even have met them. I cant wait to continue my life with this whole family and all the friends included. I have been blessed.

Marriage

So I've been thinking... You know, who is it who determines what age is the right age to get married. I feel like I've got to battle people who question our motives for being married, or when people look at us and show doubt that we will make it. I understand that Joel and I haven't gone through many life experiences, and we are basically just starting out in the world. So why would it be so wrong to start out together, I get it, people change... but why would our love for each other have to? I've seen the way Joel makes decisions, just as Joel has seen the way I make decisions... and I know that he waits till the last minute, and I cant make a decision to save my life... but Im sure there is a married couple out there who is in the same boat as us, but oh if they are about 25 then its ok. Ive seen the way Joel is with his family, just as Joel has seen me with mine.... Joel is so loving and family means so much to him even when he makes fun of his sisters and cracks jokes with his parents and grandparents, and for me Joel see's how hard it is for me to live so far away from family and he see's how important it is to me... and thats something I will always love in him. Ive seen how Joel reacts in a disappointing or tough situations, just as Joel has seen how I react... Joel looks to the positive every time and if he doesn't look to the positive... well then he must be really angry haha but oh being positive is just being "naive" I guess, but in this case Joel is making me a stronger person to learn how to cope with things, but too, I have gone through a lot and I do see the reality about life, that somethings just don't last forever, and it's a fend for yourself type of world. But Joel and I are much more than that, we want to take care of each other and we will last forever. People act like you wont truly know someone unless you have lived together, or unless you are older, but why would God have planned it so that you shouldn't live together before marriage, and why would people have gotten married and had children when they were 13 ad 14 back in the old days... Who has the right to decide what age is the best age to get married. What does everyone think marriage is? Its like people don't realize what you are committing any more. I understand fully that I have committed to loving Joel even if he changes, because I have chosen to love him no matter what. And I will continue to chose to love him every day. I read something one time and it's something that everyone should ask themselves... Would you still love your husband if he wasnt as funny, if he wasnt as good looking, if he didnt have that charm, if he stopped buying you things, if he wasnt as smart.... See all of these things dont matter because they will fade out, but now you have chosen to love him even if all that stuff went away. So it's funny that people who waited till they were in their 20's get married and it's totally ok, and then they divorce just like everyone else in the world and usually thats ok too... and yet Joel and I are young and oh we are bound to get a divorce in 3 years. I just think that everyone is going to have their own path in life and apparently God has brought us down this path and thats the way it is, so if someone has doubts in us, please dont, just be happy for us, because we are happier then most couples out there, and we would like your support. THANKSS

Just thought I'd update a little....

Well I have noticed that my blogging has slowed down. A lot has been going on and my mind just can't process it all. However, I did just take a trip to see Joel in North Carolina! That trip was the hardest trip I have had to take in a long time, seeing that Joel is stationed there for the next 4 years, it was so hard to leave the place that I so desperately want to be at. When I was there, it was basically this overwhelming feeling of home. It is where I belong. The comfortability that I felt is indescribable. Even when Joel was working during the day and I was hanging out with Bobbie (Joel's buddy's wife) I still had the satisfaction of knowing that he would be home later on. Even just being where our lives are going to start, made me feel so much better. God is really testing our patience with things, and I really do hope that everything will move on smoothly. We are a stronger couple for it though. I have seen things in Joel that I admire so much, and there are things that make me crazy sometimes, but isn't that the way love goes? No one will ever be perfect and no situation will ever be perfect. We have our little arguments and will have plenty more to come, but I will always love and cherish every moment I get to spend with him. I love you Joel. More than you really know.

"I Am"

I am the girl standing behind you in line at the grocery store, eyeing the newest Support Our Troops magnet while paging through the latest issue of Modern Bride. The look on my face is complacent and my thoughts are thousands of miles away on some military base I've only been verbally described of over the phone.


I am the young girl in the next car with the windows rolled up and the glassy visage only on the road ahead. The radio is set to one of the local country stations which is currently playing "Letters From Home"... But you can't hear it because you are talking to a family member or a friend on your cell phone. You catch a glance at the Soldiers sticker on the window of my car but you don't know that when the song reaches "my dearest love its almost dawn, I've been layin here all night long, wondering where you might be.." my heart breaks a thousand times.


I am the girl who visits the Military girlfriend or wife website at odd hours of the night to find some kind of comfort for that lonesome feeling that has settled in the pit of my stomach. I am the woman who has fought an inner battle, trying to accept the path the man I love has chosen. I'm the woman who will willingly sacrifice my family, my home, to follow a man clear across the country. I'm the woman who never asked for this but deals with it without complaint.


I am the young woman who swells with pride every time I see my Soldier standing tall in his dress blues. I'm the one who spots a Soldier sticker, license plate, or flag and feels a connection with its owner, hoping that maybe shes not alone in this melancholy, sacrificial situation.


I am the one who hates war but knows that its a necessary thing. I'm the one who supports the troops, regardless of my own opinion of the President. He is the boss of my soldier, because he's the man who our troops are fighting under.


I am the young woman who tries my hardest to go about my everyday life. I am the young woman who tries to concentrate during my classes and do the job I get paid to do. I am the young woman who hates sleeping alone. I am the young woman who closes my eyes and pretends that the man I love is laying right there next to me, his arms wrapped around me. I am the young woman who tries not to miss him, who tries not to cry whenever I hear his name or even the mention of soldiers.I

ENGAGED!

So its official, we are engaged! I cant believe it! What a week I had, graduated high school and got engaged! Joel is so amazing =] So when I got to the air port in San Diego, Joel was there with a letter and on the outside of the envelope it said "I" and there was a little paragraph letter inside... i wasn't sure exactly what was going on but I thought that maybe he was just doing something sweet =] little did I know it was something MUCH BIGGER! So we pulled up to the Hyatt hotel right next to Sea World and went in and Joel said his friend was staying there and he had a discount for a room so he was gonna go get it while I waited in the lobby. Well I was waiting for a longg time, and finally he came down (luckily I had to pee because when he came down I was in the bathroom so since he already had a key for the room he didn't have to make something up at the front desk haha) so we went up to our room on the 17th floor, all the way at the top! When he opened the door there were candles lit all on the floor leading to this side table and out to the balcony. So on the side table there was another letter and the outside of it obviously it said "love" and had another paragraph letter in it. So then the big finale, I walked to the
balcony and on a little table were candles lit in a heart shape, flowers, a chariot box, and the last letter with "you" on the outside, and in this letter it had said that I was Cinderella and he wanted to be my prince charming so I had to open my chariot because my prince awaits =] I looked at him and looked at the chariot and started to open it half way and he got down on his knee and I didn't even open it all the way and because i was so shocked! haha so he opened it and asked me to marry him =] It was pretty awesome too, he said that when he got the room it was somewhere else but they said that since he was in the military and they knew he was proposing they upgraded our room to the nicest one they had! God works in mysterious ways ;] I am so happy to have a guy like Joel! Cannot waitt to start planning! Will figure out a date soon!

Be my everything

God in my living

There in my breathing

God in my waking

God in my sleeping

God in my resting

There in my working

God in my thinking

God in my speaking

Be my everything

Be my everything

Be my everything

Be my everything

God in my hoping

There in my dreaming

God in my watching

God in my waiting

God in my laughing

There in my weeping

God in my hurting

God in my healing

Be my everything

Be my everything

Be my everything

Be my everything

Christ in me

Christ in me

Christ in me the hope of glory

You are everything

Christ in me

Christ in me

Christ in me the hope of glory

Be my everything

I am so blessed. When I hear this song it makes me think back to the first time i accepted Christ into my life. It was at Hume Lake, and I was in such a dark place, but I had the opportunity to share a week with some incredible people that changed my life forever. I will never find the words to explain what that trip did for me but it was the most amazing experience of my life. Even though I am missing Joel more than the world, I have a satisfaction of knowing that he and I have something so awesome and blessed and it makes me happier than ever. I just lack the patience needed for this roller coaster we have begun, but I am praying i can find that.

Been a while.

I haven't written in here for a long time. All my motivation is in California =[ I guess I should give an update though considering I started this so that when I forget things I can look at this and remember! So first of all Joel graduated! One of the best moments in my life. All I could do was shake. It felt so weird that finally after all the waiting I was actually looking at him. He looked so handsome, i just wanted to run out to him during the moto run! It didn't help my anxiety when it was just a tease to be able to see him and not even get to talk till later, and thenn for him to have to go back to his barracks that night and have to wait till the next day for him to finally be on leave. But every part of the waiting was so worth it. I'm so proud of him and everything he went through. I'm so lucky. He is such an amazing person; I have to thank God that he has put a person so special in my life that makes me a better me, and who is on his walk with Christ right beside me. Hand in hand. While he was here I had gotten really sick and had pink eye. It was miserable. Therefore not too many pictures were taken haha. But we did have an awesome time while he was back, and spent as much time together as possible. Its just crazy to think that he was here for 17 days and yet it seemed so short, but 17 days during the 3 months he was gone took FOREVER. I'm hoping that I will be able to go visit Joel after graduation for memorial day weekend since he has a 4 day weekend! It does suck that he can't be here for my graduation or for my party, but we signed up for this I guess! So here are some of the pictures from when he came back! More for later!

Oh the joy of patience.

Haha I love being goofy with him =] I MISS IT SO MUCH!

Well, my letters came yesterday! I guess i just get way to impatient. I'm pretty sure that these ones were looked through by the DI's or whoever looks through them cause they were taped up... and obviously came late. I'm so glad i finally got them though, i got inducted into the national honor society and i needed something from him to boost me up and not be so sad about not getting one, made my night all that much better =] And as promised there was a poem, "A Man and a Woman" =] I don't know how he is so good at those... Especially cause he doesn't have much time. How lucky am I! He knows just what to say even when he is miles away, I cant believe that I'm the girl he wants to spend the rest of his life with, I am truly the luckiest girl on this earth. He is everything I've ever wanted in someone, he is my protector, always making sure that I'm doing ok. I love our relationship, we really did it right. That's for sure. I can't wait to see him again! 55 days left! Letter #33 in processing =]

Expected...

Well, its Wednesday. The day that i actually expected a letter. And as i had said before, expecting things will lead to disappointment. Boy am i disappointed. Feels like i haven't talked to him in a year and its only been since Friday. You never really understand the depth of distance, and then add no communication. I don't even have words for how i feel at this point. I miss him so much, and i just want to hear him tell me its going to be OK. Its really starting to kick in that he is gone, i know that he is safe and everything, but i don't know what exactly he is doing and there is no way for me to know at all. All i can do is assume, and i hate assuming. I am so ridiculous that i actually am contemplating going to the mailbox again, just to make sure its not in there. Its easy for something to get lost in a 2"x 10" box, right? My letters are starting to get kinda depressing, because I'm used to telling him exactly how i feel every second my mood changes, and guess what... he is still getting that. Maybe i should try to refrain from that. Considering my state of mind is just sad=[ Well, not much to say today, just sad.

Praying for a letter soon.

Unexpected...

Two letters in two days! How unexpected. Ever notice how when unexpected things happen it makes it 10 times better then expected things, and atleast with unexpected things its impossible to set your self up for dissapointment because there is no way of knowing what is going to happen. Its funny, i went to the mail box "just to check", knowing fully well that i would 9 chances out of 10 not get a letter, and when i opened it up and saw it i flipped! I ran home so fast and couldnt even breathe to read it to my mom and it was the sweetest thing! Obviously they are all the sweetest things =] This one was especially sweet cause it had a poem and a promise. The promise is to write me a poem every single week, about 9 more poems to go Joel! So far im on letter #24 only 63 more to go for me! Im so lucky to have such an awesome guy in my life. I dont even know what to do with all of this happiness he gives me. What did i do to deserve this amazing, caring, creative, and loving guy? Im just so lucky. I love these letters, just gives me a reminder that he is missing me just as much as i am missing him. Well, better start writing letter #25...

I loved you then

I love you now

I'll love you forever

♥

Every night love.

The begining of many...

What does it mean to truly love someone? When i read that for the first time i really had to think, and i realized that the definition of love is so impossible to define. Ive heard so many explanations of it. But to me, love is one of those things that will never truly be defined. It cant be. I know this from experience. I share a love with someone, and only him and i can understand the extent of what that means. I wish i could explain it, trust me. I've been told before that its in our nature to categorize things and when we cant categorize something we are all out of sorts. I believe this is true, especially with love. Its as if love was a book, along with cooking, cleaning, reading, and writing, but the difference with love, is that its it's own category so where would you place it on a shelf? I cant necessarily define what love is, but i know that it gives me this feeling that everything is going to be ok. It just feels so right. I couldn't tell you what exactly feels so right... but whatever it is... it feels that way. See, I'm all out of sorts... love is what makes everything feel good, its the feeling of satisfaction that nothing can compare to. The love of God, the love of accomplishments, the love of another human being... its all the same. An unexplainable feeling. I'm so blessed to have found someone who can be my other half, someone who is there for me when everything seems like its caving in around me, someone that i can count on and respect, and who i know can count on and respect me. The Marine Corps may have my love, but ill have his heart forever. We may have this distance between us, but distance makes the heart grow fonder, right? I already know that nothing could break us apart, absolutely nothing. And im proud to say that im in love with my best friend, someone who means the world to me, and who would sign up to do something that risks his life for my freedom. Missing you Joel =[