Day 4- My views on religion

God is good. I know that my life has been so blessed. I cant even explain how lucky I am. Sometimes I think about the negative things that have happened in my life, but I still cant be angry with God about any of it, because when he closed one door, he always opened another. It has made me mature and grow up, things will change and people will die, its just a fact of life. When I accepted Christ into my life, it was this life altering experience. I wish everyone could experience it. Some people think that having a relationship with God means you have to be perfect, and thats so not true! I know I am not perfect by any means, and I know God understands that too, considering we were born sinners. All it is, is striving to be better. Not to let this world suck you in. I am happy because I have a relationship with God. Without that, I would not have a happy marriage, I would not accept my brothers death, I would not be a good friend, nor a good wife, none of it. With God I can do anything. We all mess up but God is forgiving =] I cant imagine my life without Him!

Day 3- My views on Drugs and Alcohol

First off, alcohol... I think its something people struggle with no matter how severe. Its one of those things that can be fun once in a while, and in moderation; or can be a problem, doing it all the time. Its one thing when you are hanging out with some close friends and are having a good time, and its another when you cant go a couple days without it. I'm not saying anyone is perfect, and who's to say where the line gets drawn, I'm just saying people need to recognize when they cant have fun unless they are drinking. I personally think alcohol is your worst best friend, its always fun in the moment, but then the next day or a few hours later your regretting many things. "Wow I shouldn't have drank so much" or "Wow I feel like crap" or "Wow I wish I wouldn't have said that"... So its funny that no matter how terrible we feel, we always go back to it eventually... odd. Anyways, so drugs... I have some harsh feelings towards drugs. I am tired of hearing people say that weed cant kill you. When my brother died, I realized people don't have a clue. There are so many things that you do know about weed, like what it is laced with. My brother would have woken up when he started smelling the smoke from his car if it wasn't for the fentanyl in his system. Obviously it was a freak accident and to this day we cant explain how the car caught on fire, but all we do know is he didn't wake up when he fell asleep in the parking lot with the car running. I also feel like people should grow up, kids in 7th grade are smoking weed, so do you feel cool doing something children are doing? And to those kids, live a normal life instead of getting wrapped up in something that will ultimately make you so unhappy. Uhg. This topic really annoys me to be honest. I hate drugs... all of them. It just proves how unhappy this world is. If you need drugs to make you actually feel something... its sad. Completely sad that I will have to raise kids in this world some day. Rest in Peace Jaison.

Day 2- Where Id Like to be in 10 years

In ten years, I want to have stability. I've lived my life moving around from place to place,  it would be nice to have a house that Joel and I can build and create a stable environment for our kids. I know I hated not staying in one spot for long, not being around family hurt the most. I hope to have 3 kids in ten years, with the same silly husband I have today =] I hope our marriage is stronger then it has ever been before. The house we build (fingers crossed) will be made in northern Arizona, not too far away from family, and I want to have a yard for our dogs and kids to roam. Also an open house, I want it to be open and bright, to be inviting for others to come over. I want our house to be the "get together" house and always have a holiday party, football Sunday, and other celebrations. I want to be an Ultrasound tech, work 2 or 3 days a week, and have my photography business. I am praying that I will be able to do photography and it take off so well that it is my number one line of work. There is something about it that I absolutely love! I love the feeling of taking a picture, and being able to change aspects of it just to enhance the beauty in in already. Even just stopping time, for me, is the most amazing thing. I have a bad memory as it is, so by taking a picture that I can look at later and remember the day helps so much. Which is why it would be so awesome to stop time for so many other people too! I know it might be hard at first to get going, but I enjoy it so much that I dont care if it takes a while, I just have to keep telling myself I can do it. Its funny how ten years can seem so far off but really, it will come so quick. Im excited for my future with Joel and a family one day. We have so much to look forward to!

Day 1- Current Relationship

 Well, I think I do a lot of talking about Joel on here! But I can add more now that he is deployed. My current relationship is miles away. There are so many emotions with him being gone its almost shocking how many times my mood can change in one day. I spent the first few days of the deployment SLEEPLESS. I started school and I made sure I would stay busy with a million other things so I was waking up at 630am some days and not going to sleep till midnight cause Joel would be online and then I would get a call or text (Thank you to those people who would tell me at 2 and 3am that Joel was on!) and I would be up for the next hour writing back and forth and then wake up the next day and do it all over again. So you can imagine the sadness when he wouldn't call as much and I would wait... and go to the computer lab at school between classes... just hoping for something... I knew what we were getting into when Joel joined, I just couldn't completely wrap my head around what our relationship was going to have to endure. I'm sure all of my marine wives can understand where I am coming from. Sometimes if I really start thinking and making myself crazy, I get scared that I have this possibility of having to face this world alone one day. I dont go there much, but when I do... The night Joel told me he doesn't call as much because he misses home so much more I was angry, but then he said "...I need to focus on the job and when I talk to you I miss home so much, and I cant get complacent, thats how marines get hurt" I automatically started to cry. The thought of losing the person you love the most in this world will scare the hell out of you, and the thought that you could be a cause of that is even worse. The things that are important in life really come to surface, I havent been in this deployment for long, but long enough to know that when I go through my days I dont care who I meet, who I talk to, what is on the agenda, I just am thinking to myself... 7 months. My husband will be in my arms again. The constant feeling of missing someone gets to you... I feel like we have spent more of our relationship missing each other than anything else. I just pray to God that he brings my husband home, safe and unharmed. I miss you Joel. We are only a star away.

30 Day Challenge

Alright so I think I am going to start a new project on here, something to keep me busy and to keep me thinking. Someone showed this to me and I think it will be fun! Posts will start tomorrow... or later today... who really knows... Here it is!

Being a Wife

I realize that my posting has been lame and I barely write in here anymore, but I definitely feel like this will be a really great outlet when Joel leaves. So hopefully I can say this will be the post of many more to come... I figure now would be a good time to list all the things I LOVE about being a wife! First of all I have to say, I absolutely love falling asleep with toes touching =] Its cute that Joel wont fall asleep unless he is touching me somehow, whether he throws his whole leg on me, touches toes, or just puts his hand on my back, I feel so loved when he does that =] But ok Ill make this list like cause there are a ton!

Things I love about being a wife are....

• Cooking because its extremely fun to find recipes and see his reaction with the first bite!
• Cleaning because I am super OCD when it comes to clutter and I just love the fresh scent of cleaning supplies!
• Laundry because it goes along with cleaning and I love it when the closet is full and clothes are stacked neatly! [OCD I SWEAR!] and because I know he appreciates his cammies being fresh :]
• Bills because I feel better knowing that I can do them when Joel goes on deployments, and its just one less thing my hubby has to worry about... hes got enough on his plate.
• Waking up to an alarm clock at 4 in the morning because it gives me relief that its not me having to go PT! ;] 
• Decorating the place because I know I have way better taste than dear ol Joel so I have free reign of how I want things to look [okay okay, I let him give some input :] he did help with the comforter surprisingly!]
• Mr. and MRS. because it feels more important to have that title ;]
• Becoming part of a wonderful family because without them... well... who would I be right?

It will be so nice when we have our own place, no more roommates, just us. Im sure I will have plenty more reasons to love being a wife... and along with that will come reasons I will want to give some of my responsibilities as a wife away haha, but the good will always outweigh the bad :].... until we meet again!